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Title: The Rules (TM): Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
ISBN: 0446518131
Author:
Sherrie Schneider
Ellen Fein
Publicate Date: 1995-02-14
Publish: 1995-02-14
List Price: $33.00
Average Customer Rating: 3.0
Format: Hardcover
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Amazon Lowest New Price: $11.97
Amazon Lowest Used Price: $4.70
Amazon Merchant Price: $21.56
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| Customer Review: |
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1: When You Want to Date to Get Married - Read The Rules!
Indeed The Rules, aka TRs as it is known to its fans, is an absolute MUST READ for every Single Girl and Single Woman out there.
Learning to let the man be The Man and to pursue her is classic advise for any feminine woman Yin-Centered woman.
As a Dating Coach and Online Dating Coach, I place The Rules on my recommended Dating reading list to every client.
Every woman wins from reading and implementing the section on being a Creature Unlike Any Other, or CUAO as it has become known in now modern lexicon. Men are attracted to women who make the most of themselves, who make the point to be THEIR best. Not just to super model. Exuding that self-confidence and poise is part of what makes us all so attractive and magnetic to men.
The Rules is SO classic, I reread it at least annually.
Add it to your library, read it and reread it. Implement it and you will GET more dates and be more successful with men.
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2: Wise book
This is a great book. See for yourself.
Here are the most common accusations and their rebuttals:
- not every guy will want to play by these rules: absolute truth. Self-centered, taking only pricks won't date you if you use the rules! Only a real guy who knows how to appreciate the woman and doesn't mind doing relationship work will stick with you. But the book does warn you about this. It doesn't promise to turn a jerk into a prince, so why complain? And weren't you looking for a NICE relationship-oriented guy anyway?
- rules trick men into marriage: can anybody be really tricked into marriage? just by withdrawing sex? BS! nobody is getting married just because they want to get laid with that particular person. And if he dumps you or cheats if you don't put out... well, that means he was only after a certain part of your body anyway.
- rules sound 50's: yes, and guess what? men haven't changed since 50's either. They still want a girl with self-esteem who lets HIM do the chasing (instead of being chased!)
- if you play games you'll get a gamer: men play games all the time - "of course I love you, let's have sex now!", shouldn't you have at least couple of tricks up your sleeve?
- "you'll lose someone great by using these rules": so this great guy will dump you if you stop investing your WHOLE life in this relationship? then let him go NOW! Because he is dumping you anyway when you are emptied out by this marathon of giving it all and receiving little (if any)
- the rules create a facade: yes, and we need it. hopefully by faking and seeing the results we will finally learn how to behave to be appreciated and learn to nip in the bud the dead-end relationships
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3: The only rule is love.
I do what I want, and in the process, I get the women I want. These rules are another way of over thinking and wasting your life thinking about rules and getting people at your feet. There should be no one with more power in a relationship, only mutual love. Sometimes you just have to accept that someone doesn't like you. It's just the way it is. This book is the way of the weak, and if you ever notice someone following the rules, let them know that you are aware, and if they continue their ways, dump them immediately. Make your own rules.
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4: Seldom Return His Calls?
Ok here's the thing. When a woman doesn't return my calls I think it's any one of the following:
A. She's not interested
B. She has a boyfriend
C. She's ambivalent \
D. She just likes the attention, but has no intention of having a relationship
E. She's playing hard to get.
ALL OF THESE have happened to me, they have happened to most guys.
These are just a few possibilities.
By the time I get to the bottom of the list of possibilities, I'm confused, irritated, and stressed out.
I may call her again, I may not... but rarely does it go anywhere once I've been through this. Un-returned phone calls just raise too many questions and raise issues about trust.
Sorry.
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5: love who you are and others will love you
Sometimes when you are in love with someone, it's quite difficult to not wear your heart on your sleeves. I'm a very attractive woman and doesn't have a difficult time attracting men. From the beginning, it's the men who pursued me. I had received flowers, dated models and actors, taken on vacations, been pampered with gifts... After a few months passed, I started being the one who pursued them because I felt that they deserved to be treated well. I believed that I should put in my fair share into the relationship. I would take on last minute dates, took them out to dinner, bought them gifts, cook them dinner... The bottomline was, I was a great girlfriend who really cared for my boyfriends. I'm faithful, loyal, respectful and honest. Do they care? Oh hell no! At the end, what did that brought me? Heartaches and many great lessons learned. There's a saying that goes, "fool once, fool twice, shame on them, fool three times, shame on me." Therefore, gentlemen, how can you say that we are playing games, when we give our best to you, you take it for granted? It's just about time, that a sweet girl learn to toughen up and begin to stand up for herself after series of heartaches. Should we take another chance to have our heart broken again? As a result, this book teaches women to not take any form of bad behaviors from anyone. From reminding us to not date married man to not taking on last minute dates. It's true, if a man loves you, he will call you, he will arrange a date with you a few days in advance, he will respect you and will thank you when you do something nice for them.
Now, The Rules give great guidelines on how to be a "creature unlike any other." However, in order to be a "creature unlike any other", you have to feel it and not just pretend. Afterall, The Rules does tell us to be honest. It's time to take some responsibility in becoming better than who you are. The best revenge for an ex is to look good, feel good and be on top of your game. Join a meetup group. Go to www.meetup.com, join a group, have some fun and meet a lot of interesting people. When you are living an enriched life and are having fun, you'll definitely be a "creature unlike any other".
The only thing that I don't agree with in The Rules is that it suggest that a woman should not return phone calls when he called and only return after he called a few times. There are three things that comes before love and these are honesty, trust and respect. If you don't respect the guy enough to return his phone call, than will there be actual love. Let him pursue you but do show him the respect that he deserves and return his call. There's a fine line between letting your man chase you and making your man chase you like a dog.
Overall, this is a pretty good book. It's not well written but the content of it helps women become independent, reminds them that they need to respect themselves and that they can be a "creature unlike any other".
The rules doesn't just work on alpha males. It will work on all male because I realize they all enjoy the chase. Why? Because the couple times I was in love, the guys were the creative and sensitive type who makes music, reads alot, wrote stories... They pull the same stunt like the rest.
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