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Title: How Can I Help? Stories and Reflection on Service
ISBN: 0394729471
Author:
Ram Dass
Paul Gorman
Publicate Date: 1985-03-12
Publish: 1985-03-12
List Price: $12.00
Average Customer Rating: 5.0
Format: Paperback
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Amazon Lowest New Price: $5.55
Amazon Lowest Used Price: $0.02
Amazon Merchant Price: $9.60
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| Customer Review: |
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1: If you are reading this review you probably want to help, you should probably read this book
My wife and I are both first person volunteers (Red Cross and St. Vincent de Paul Society) and we both have full time jobs. I thought that we know about helping until I read this book.
Basically, it starts with a focus on knowing and understanding yourself, tossing in a little mediation practice for good measure. If you are helping to feel better about yourself, you are not really helping.
Along the way there are, as other reviewers have said, inspirational stories that (well) inspire. It is a great balance of discussion and insight with stories about service.
When I got to the section on burn-out, I presumed that I know the answers. I have survive burnout and read several really good books on the subject. Relax, step back, etc. This book has an entirely different perspective that I think is more useful than the other books.
If you want to help people, and I presume if you are reading this book that you do, then you should consider reading this book. Thanks for helping.
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2: Behind Our Roles To Insight Of A Larger Order Of Objectivity
An excellent book on helping ourselves which in turn act in helping others in a life of service. The awareness first must be found in ourselves before we can exercise the compassion for others. It is here we gain insight into a larger order of lawfulness we cannot understand rationally but which nevertheless resonates within. Compassion becomes an increasingly automatic response.
Ideas conveyed rest in the process of ambiguity and paradox in the realm of not knowing, resting in mystery. Living in the game of subjectivity, we always remain in touch with the silent observer, the witness self in calm abiding and when caught up in subjectivity to see the absurdity of the game and using absurd comedy to deal with it. We end up trusting in a larger pattern beyond the absurd surface world of our actions. We see the truth in uncertainty, we maintain the Zen beginner's mind. We work on ourselves as a vehicle for our higher selves. And we recognize that all of us have a flag to wave which is the folly of our human existence. We are conscious of our lack of integrity while trying to convince others, as we see ourselves from the outside as the silent witness. We see compassion and peace as the only way to make peace in everything we do and are in touch with the quiet self behind all our subjective roles, behind all the thinking, actions and experiences. We see the polarization's of differences as our habits of thinking, seeing beyond the circle of opposites knowing that our mind acts in Gestalt as it perceives and decides in categorizing what is essentially neutral information.
The way to compassion is simply to just listen, stop thinking, stop speaking and listen. be the observer. Its our reactions that determine our pains and sufferings as opposed to the happenings themselves. We acknowledge our weaknesses and refrain from blinding ourselves in subjectivity. Its our dispassionate need as the observer, the we see our own reactions from the view as an outsider watching our reactions as habitual patterns our physical and mental beings perform.
Our thoughts act as clouds that pass by and we can be aware of this if we can gain the ability to observe them as an outside consciousness, alert to when we get sucked up in subjectivity. To rest in awareness in ourselves, with company, allowing and helping others to find themselves. The sage helps the ten thousand things find their own nature. We move away from viewing the world strictly in concepts and recognize the intellect blinds intuitive awareness. We see our self image as a prison we create, roles to survive in this game of life but also a prison for us if we fail to find our higher objective observer selves. We need our roles to survive as humans and communicate with one another but in order not to get trapped in them we have to enter behind our roles out of the blindness.
"The most familiar models of who we are - father and daughter, doctor and patient, helper and helped - often turn out to be major obstacles to the expression of our caring instincts; they limit the full measure of what we have to offer one another . . they are delusions of separateness. Our task is to free our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty . . " p.20
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3: Every helping professional should read this book
I am a social worker and an author. I have recently become involved with writing about medical as well as human rights issues. (My book BEHIND THE BURQA, which is to be published in October by John Wiley, is the memoir of two women who escaped the brutality of Afghanistan and the suffering they endured in the US.) Through my work, I have come into contact with people, such as the two subjects of my book, who have endured excruciating circumstances. HOW CAN I HELP sits on my night table so that I can read it after I've come home from interviewing someone in pain. It addresses all the issues that come up when people try to help each other, whether as "helping professionals" or simply as friends or family who are reaching out--guilt, burnout, fear, sense of helplessness--the myriad emotions that afflict those who want to make a difference in the lives of others. HOW CAN I HELP is psychologically astute, spiritually enlightening and written with great gentleness, compassion and occasional moments of humor. I feel the authors have become my mentors and friends. They accompany me to detention centers when I interview imprisoned asylum-seekers who have fled horrific tortures. They're with me when I visit people in the hospital. Their wisdom and guidance inspire me and inform my ability to remain intimately involved with people who have undergone horrible suffering. This book should be required reading in medical schools, psychology and social work programs, and any other context in which people are being trained to work with others in need.
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4: Comforting and Revelational
This book is filled with insights. These insights are hidden gems of wisdom revealing our personalities desire to seek and find what we all have in common. This unity is driven by our need and desire to find peace in the midst of life's most difficult moments. As our heart goes out to those in need, our acts of service contain our soul's longing to connect with a fellow soul. Once our soul is awakened in service, a path opens and leads us into a sacred human relationship infused by the power of peace. Thanks, Ram Dass, for your guidance into the realm of spirit through the words written in this book.I also recommend: What the Dying Teach Us: Lessons on Living by Samuel Oliver
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5: Book has been my bedside reading for more than ten years
I read the book called "How can I help" by Ram Dass and Paul Groman when I attended a seminar for care givers. It was intended to help us not get "used up" or "burned out" as the saying goes. The book has a number of vignettes followed by commentary. Each vignettes has proven an inspiration and the commentary has always added to the insight.I do something I call "peer counseling". What it means is I simply try to provide a really safe place for them to express themselves. I have a structured way of developing that environment but that's too complex for this email. I believe that even if we think very hard about an issue we still need to say the words before we get a complete perspective. When we say the words out loud the first time to someone else we some times think, "Damn I'm right!" other times we think, "Boy is that stupid." and I try to provide a non-judgmental place to reach a conclusion. I also expect that if the outcome is the second they will try to distance themselves from everything that was associated with time spent working in the wrong direction. Generally that means they distance themselves from me too. I have to help them leave me with no feelings of guilt because they are "abandoning" someone who has befriended them. That is the second part of my counsel letting them go guilt free. I sometimes fear "losing" clients will drain me but re-reading the vignettes in the book renews me.
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