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Title: The Rabbi's Daughter
ISBN: 0385341423
Author:
Reva Mann
Publicate Date: 2007-10-30
Publish: 2007-10-30
List Price: $24.00
Average Customer Rating: 4.0
Format: Hardcover
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Amazon Lowest New Price: $9.35
Amazon Lowest Used Price: $4.29
Amazon Merchant Price: $16.32
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| Customer Review: |
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1: Very impressive
If one is familiar with the religious Jewish life the book grabs you until the last page. A few small points are interesting however. If she comes from a orthodox family why does her father as a rabbi use a loudspeaker on sabbath and kiss other woman? sounds a bit strange.... in addition the very specific language describing in full detail the sexual experiences where not needed to make the book a fantastic book. All in all very well written! Looking forward to her next book.
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2: Engrossing yet Disappointing
I finished this book in a day and found it very hard to put down.
It reads as the memoir of a woman who grew up in a religious Jewish household, left the fray to lead a lifestyle of sex and "liberation" and returned to join the ultra-religious Hasidic community. The book promised to highlight the struggles a woman faced in choosing between a religious lifestyle and a non-religious one. And that is my biggest issue with the book. The religious lifestyle she describes consists of a joyless virtually loveless existence full of empty rules, stringencies, and empty relationships. The "non-religious" lifestyle she chooses consists of adultery, promiscuous sex, drug use, lesbianism, more drug use, and more promiscuous sex.
I had truly wanted to relate to the author, as I am a (mostly happy) Orthodox woman myself, but I do question what "life on the other side of the fence" might be like from time to time. I found it impossible to do so for two reasons. First the author's experience of Judaism was skewed, extreme, and not an accurate glimpse of mainstream Orthodoxy. Second, her non-religious lifestyle disgusted me and I have a hard time believing most secular people engage in half the things the author happily did in her pursuit of a "non-religious" way of life.
Like some other reviewers I found some of the incidents related strained belief. A woman who repeatedly professes to love G-d so much she joins the most extreme and ascetic Orthodox branch happily recounts how she lost her virginity in a synagogue of all places.
Her emotions just did not ring true to me. Nor did I really get a sense of genuine spirituality coming from the author.
I hope anyone reading this book realizes the views of this author are extreme and her experiences are not shared by the majority of Orthodox Jewish women. Some of us do live balanced, fulfilling and happy lives, and interact with genuinely caring and loving people.
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3: Fascinating journey....
"The Rabbi's Daughter" is a fascinating journey from one woman's perspective. I was interested to see how many peole were completely turned off by this book. I believe that those who were disappointed may have been looking for 'answers' from a Jewish perspective. If the novel is read in that way, I can see why there would be confusion.
However, this well crafted memoir, by a flawed, caring, idealistic woman, is far more in line with Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love" than a work of Jewish philosophy or theology. This isn't a theological work to bring enlightenment. It's a very raw and real story of one woman's search for inner peace. She looked for it in drugs and sex and being a part of the modern world. She looked for it in the most restrictive forms of Hassidic Judaism. What she finds along the way is knowledge and her own sense of self and balance.
I applaud Ms. Mann's bravery for telling her story.
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4: RAW, REAL, and WELL-WRITTEN
Reva puts everything on the line and does not white wash anything. This book was unbelievably cathartic for me. The descriptions of her feelings and locations were incredibly vivid. It brought me back to my years attending a seminary in Jerusalem. I understood her hunger for spirituality, her desire to suppress her blemished past, and her fantasy about wanting to live a pious life. Although I never got married, I have many friends who did and now live in the ultra-orthodox world in Jerusalem. I am still not quite sure how I escaped the grip of marriage. I wish there was a bit more resolution at the end but it is a memoir, she is still living. I wish her luck and thank you.
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5: A lonely and troubled young woman finds that extreme religious devotion doesn't fill the lingering void
My feelings toward Reva ran the gamut as I read her book. I would have given it three stars but I read it during a succession of visits to the bookstore coffee shop and found myself thinking about it in between visits. This book is pretty much a memoir of growing up with low self-esteem and its aftermath. What makes this one unique is that much of it takes place in an insulated Hassidic community. I couldn't help thinking of another very similar memoir called Beautiful Stranger by Hope Donahue. Hope also grew up with a distant father and narcissistic mother. In order to fill her chronic void Hope, who is very pretty, becomes a plastic surgery addict. Same story different setting and coping mechanism.
Reva had one thing Hope didn't, a mentally handicapped older sister. Eventually their mother gets tired of taking care of the sister and puts her in an institution far away. This devastates Reva and haunts her throughout the book, even though she doesn't seem to make much effort to visit her sister. Reva seems to feel that her anxiety and loneliness problems are somehow tied to her sister's trauma. It is my personal belief that her mother's narcissistic unavailability and preoccupation with appearances (such as bullying Reva into a nose job at 16) had a lot more to do with it.
First Reva tries to fill the void with drugs and promiscuity. Later she joins a Hassidic sect in an effort to atone and straighten herself out. After a series of introductions by the community's matchmaker Reva marries Simcha. They meet in hotel lobbies and take long walks because physical contact is forbidden. A lot of the young people in this book seem to feel that religious observance will conquer all of their problems and hang ups. Reva is over sexed and feeling guilty about it and looking forward to marriage. Simcha has some hang ups about sex and is trying to avoid it. They both feel that religion will provide them this outlet. She expresses her disappointment on their wedding night. The two become intimate strangers and eventually the marriage falls apart. Reva is left feeling even worse since she feels that her community blames her for her marriage's failure.
I don't want to spoil the ending but Reva's mother who made such an impression on me insists on committing one last selfish act. I would recommend this book along with Beautiful Stranger to young women suffering from low self-esteem, poor family relations and interpersonal skills. They should be read as cautionary tales about quick fixes, especially external ones.
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